Our Stories: Ash

Ash and Kai: a journey from homelessness to hope

For years, Ash and Kai lived on the margins, navigating financial hardship, societal judgment, and a lack of support systems. At just 27, Ash has already faced challenges many don’t encounter in a lifetime — experiencing years of homelessness, battling mental health conditions, and fighting for the chance to keep their family together. Alongside Kai, Ash’s partner, the couple has persevered through unimaginable struggles, finding strength in their love for each other and their two young children, Nathaniel and Elara.

Ash and Kai’s story of homelessness began because of a sudden rent increase.

“Our rent went up by $400 in one year,” Ash explained. “It was affordable housing, and then it suddenly wasn’t.”

The couple tried to keep their heads above water, even as Ash worked long hours as a security guard and Kai dealt with the debilitating effects of postpartum depression. But when Kai was unexpectedly laid off, the fragile stability they’d built collapsed.

“We lost everything almost immediately,” Ash shared. “We had no family to turn to, no safety net. It was just us, trying to survive.”

With no other options, the couple was forced to separate from each other and their children temporarily. Ash and Kai made the heartbreaking decision to sign over temporary custody of their children to Kai’s parents.

“We didn’t have a choice,” Ash admitted. “It was either that or give them up for adoption and never see them again.”

Ash went to stay in a one-person, rented room, and Kai went to stay with distant family. This arrangement brought new challenges.

“Kai’s family didn’t accept his identity as a transgender man. They tried to forcefully convert him and deny who he is.”

This separation was devastating, but with the help of a kind stranger named Annie, the couple reunited.

“Annie helped us evacuate Kai when things got dangerous and found a place for both of us to stay. She was the first person to truly help us without judgment,” Ash said.

Throughout their struggles, Ash and Kai were determined to provide for their children, Nathaniel, 5, and Elara, 4.

“Our kids are our world,” Ash said. “Nathaniel is naturally curious and extremely polite, always looking out for his sister. And Elara is the most social butterfly I’ve ever met. She tries making friends with anyone, no matter how big or small they are. I can’t wait to see the kinds of people they decide to be.”

The turning point came when Ash and Kai connected with LiFEBoat, an Oregon Housing and Community Services-funded shelter in Astoria, Oregon offering low-barrier support to those experiencing homelessness. Introduced by a friend, the couple quickly became involved in the organization, not just as clients but as contributors.

“The first day I worked at LiFEBoat, I saw how many people they were helping,” Ash said. “The looks on people’s faces when we handed them food — it changed everything. I fell in love with the work.”

Six months later, Ash is now a full-time employee at LiFEBoat.

“This is the first job I’ve ever had where I feel like I’m truly helping people,” Ash shared. “The Army was supposed to be about helping others, but it wasn’t. Being a security guard was about protecting property. This was the first job that we found where you actually care about humans, where you’re taking care of people who don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Through LiFEBoat, Ash and Kai have found not only employment but also stability and community.

“For the first time in our lives, we’re safe,” Ash said. “We have a home. We’ve unpacked every box. We’ve even started decorating. It feels surreal.”

Despite this newfound stability, Kai’s parents are now trying to keep the children, citing disapproval of Ash and Kai’s lifestyle choices.

“They don’t believe we’re what’s best for our own children,” Ash said. “But now that we’ve built a stable life, we’re fighting to bring them home.”

Today, Ash and Kai are rebuilding their lives with determination and hope. They’re working to regain custody of their children and are committed to staying in Astoria, where they’ve found a supportive community.

“When I look at where we are now, it doesn’t feel real,” Ash said. “For so long, life felt like survival. Now I’m planning for the future. I want to stay here, raise our kids, and help LiFEBoat grow. Wherever LiFEBoat goes, I want to go.”

For Ash, the work at LiFEBoat is more than a job — it’s a mission.

“I know what it’s like to be on the other side of this,” Ash said. “And now, I can be the person I needed when I was struggling. That’s everything.”

Ash’s message to those who might judge people experiencing homelessness is simple: “It could be you tomorrow. Homeless people are people first — just like you and me. What we need is compassion, community, and kindness. That’s what saved us, and it’s what will save others.”